Nothing is more disappointing than realizing that you have invested more than your feelings in another person, only to find out that they don’t share your feelings and have been playing with you all along. You think they are cheating. But how can you know for sure? If someone feels inside that their partner is cheating, they may be right.
Signs of cheating include a partner enhancing their appearance, guarding their phone, changing their schedule, and emotionally disappearing.
Someone can show several signs of cheating and still remain faithful. No matter what, any such “signs” indicate a break in the relationship.
However, you may want to gather other evidence before confronting your significant other about their behavior. Common signs of infidelity that you can look out for include:
1. Improved appearance.
If your significant other suddenly starts exercising and eating healthier, it could be a sign that they’re trying to appear more attractive to someone (maybe you, but maybe an affair partner). When Mr. Sweatpants-at-a-party-are-just-nice-starts-wearing-pants-with-matching-socks-and-a-trendy-shirt, or Ms. I-Can’t-Help-When-I-Smell-Like-Our-Son’s-Poopy-Diapers suddenly smells like Chanel #5, which may indicate an affair. Ditto for a new haircut and new underwear – especially if your significant other looks the same as those around you, but much better for work or certain social events.
2. Secret use of a telephone or computer.
Fraudsters tend to use their phones and computers more often than before and protect them as if their lives depended on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop have never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign. If your partner never gives up their phone, even takes it into the bathroom when they shower, it’s not a good sign. If you ask to check your partner’s phone and they say no, that’s also a problem. Honestly, what could there be – other than information about your surprise birthday – that they would want to keep secret?
3. Periods when your significant other is unavailable.
If your partner is cheating on you, they will be less likely to return your calls and texts. You may hear legitimate excuses, such as they were in a meeting, they were driving, they were in a “dead zone” and didn’t know you were trying to connect. If your partner is unavailable while working late or on a business trip, that’s a bad sign.
4. Much less, or more, or the other gender in your relationship.
Both a decrease and an increase in the level of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex happens because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex happens because they try to cover it up. Another possible sign of infidelity is that the sex you and your partner are having feels less emotionally connected. Another possible sign is that your partner is introducing new methods and activities into your sex life. As much as you don’t like it, they may be learning new tricks outside of your relationship.
5. Your partner is hostile towards you and your relationship.
Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior (in their minds). One way to do this is to place the blame on yourself. They tell themselves that you don’t look the same as when they married you, or you’re not adventurous enough in the bedroom, or you don’t appreciate all the wonderful things they do for you, so they deserve to have little fun elsewhere .
Often, their internal justifications for cheating come out and they act judgmental towards you and your relationship. If nothing you do seems to be right, or something that didn’t bother your partner before suddenly does, or it seems like you’re being pushed away, this can be a strong indication of cheating.
6. Changed schedule.
If your significant other, who has never worked late, suddenly has to work late, and it starts to happen more often, she might be lying. If your husband has never been on a business trip and suddenly finds himself needing to travel for work, this could be a sign that they are taking a weekend getaway with their affair partner. Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether can also indicate infidelity. A cheating partner may also suddenly forget to pick up the kids, birthdays, and other important events, etc.
7. Friends seem uncomfortable around you.
In case of infidelity, you, the betrayed partner, are almost always the last to know. A cheater’s friends often know about the infidelity from the beginning, and your own friends will likely find out long before you do. This knowledge usually makes these people feel uncomfortable around you. A cheater’s friends may try to avoid you or be too nice to you. Your own friends may try to avoid talking about your relationship, and they may compensate by being very nice.
8. Unexplained expenses.
If there are strange charges on your partner’s credit card or bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc. suddenly there is less money, this is a possible sign of infidelity. If you ask your partner about these expenses and their answers seem disingenuous, they probably aren’t. Cheating costs money: gifts, trips, wining and dining, hotel rooms, etc. The cost of cheating can add up very quickly. If you see large cash withdrawals or purchase receipts from places you rarely or never visit, it’s not a good sign.
9. Emotional intimacy has faded.
After a few years, the relationship does not become as intense as in the first months. However, we tend to bond and bond securely over time, learning to trust each other with our secrets, desires, and other important aspects of our lives. This process is known as creating emotional intimacy. And emotional intimacy is what sustains us with our significant other long after the roses have bloomed, so to speak.
So if your partner suddenly seems less emotionally vulnerable and intimate with you and doesn’t seem to want you to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate, that’s a strong sign that his focus has shifted—most likely to an affair partner.
10. When you ask about cheating, your partner deflects and avoids.
If your spouse is cheating on you, the last thing they want to do is talk about it with you. That way, if you bring the topic up in conversation, they may try to deflect it and avoid it. In short, your partner will do his best to redirect you to another topic, or he will shift the blame for what you think and feel onto you.
If you’ve confronted your partner about infidelity and been rejected, perhaps with a message like, “If you’d just trusted me a little more, maybe things would have worked out better between us,” you shouldn’t let that overpower your gut feeling that something isn’t right. yes in your relationship. Nor should you automatically accept your partner’s assertion that you are at fault. As stated earlier, if your gut tells you that your significant other is cheating on you, you are probably right.